AFGM

There is much i know now. Even saying 'much', i know it is little in the scheme of things.

i know that i am more valuable than i ever thought.
i am more intelligent than those who would underestimate me.
i am worthy and deserving of happiness; and that happiness is rooted in myself, but seeks a reflector to validate it. This is a weakness for which i now know i need to provide healthy outlets (and i am).
i know that i have not acted in any way towards anyone that was undeserved or overreactive. If anything the opposite is true. i was too cautious and too slow.
i know that i DO honor truth in its most raw form above all. i have forgiven myself for thinking otherwise.
i know that i miss that wild and heady feeling that i have someone in my life worthy of spoiling with my attention and time and yes, body too.
i know that that someone will happen... when the time and the person is right, but moreso ~ when *i* am right again, and ready for it to happen. Only i can make myself ready for that time. Only i can build myself back to a point where i have a whole and trust-capable me to offer. Before that happens, forming a deep connection with anyone would be artificial, superficial, indiscriminate. i know that i am doing my best to be patient with myself. Besides, i have deep connections of loving friendships and that's what saves me some days. For now, the person i need to spoil with attention is me.