The school at which i have taught for 13 years begins this morning and i am not there. My brain woke me at 6am, mostly because i don't think i have wrapped my head around this change in my life fully yet. Not sure that i ever really will, but still.

i'm not sure i fully understand why a contract was not offered, but given the political situation (membership dues, #1's choices there and T's fall-out there) i can't say that i am surprised in the least. At least T received a letter thanking him and saying they were heading in a different direction (although from those we know there it's "ssdd"). Me? Nothing. No thank yous, no sorry but's, no communication of any sort. 13 years for nothing.

i am left with a desperate lack of direction this morning. Thankfully i have a few hours of work to do later today. Tomorrow is another day of trying to find a job that fulfills what my children need of me and for which i can have some self-respect doing... if i can get it.

The economy here is just plain bad. Back in the early 70's there was a running 'joke' that went "Would the last person out of Michigan please turn out the lights?" It's pretty near that bad now.

In the meantime i am taking comfort in being able to focus on #1 and preparing her for leaving home in January.

Wish me luck... and the return of my sanity and self respect.