A submissive? NO.

SD: Maybe you're not a submissive.
What i did say: i think you'd have an argument on your hands.

When asked whether You thought i should think on SD's words, You replied: Look for the answer in your own heart. Another person cannot tell you if you are or not.

This is some of that looking.....

i am definitely not a submissive.

The feelings of submission that i have in me are carefully guarded and reserved for one who recognises and values them and me for what i am.
my submission has remained well hidden for years at a time. It responds only to honest souls, connected souls, trusted souls, to souls whom i am sure have its best interest at heart.

To souls with whom it can find kinship, it responds in kind.
With one in whom it finds safe shelter, it opens its hands in giving back.
To one who appreciates the fullest depths of its potential,
is willing to nurture it, coax it into health and light,
it unfurls as a sail.

It is a choice to allow it to be beckoned from its hiding to be seen for the whole person that i am. So few have ever seen me, fewer still in those rare moments when i am fully myself.

Yes, i am rich with personal power. Yes, i am strong, intelligent and capable. It makes me no less what i am. Yes, i am vulnerable, childish, prone to wounding, slow to comprehend the obvious. Still it makes me no less what i am.

Then there is this one... this one weilded equal power to my own. This one saw what was inside without ever being told. This one came so far in that it was difficult to know where each of us stopped. And so it began to again unfurl; this time in a completely different way. In a way which suited this one, and the us that has grown to be.

It is because of this one's seeing that i am what i am to him. It is this one who makes me more myself in this part of me than any other. It is this one whom i chose to respect in return.


And so, in the end, i see what i now know i might have said to SD. It is this:

i am not a submissive. i choose to be HIS submissive, as he has chosen me.
And that ~ makes all the difference in the world.